–You do know that others have already done this and at least one of them has a book, a real book, not a blog, online book-like thing, one with pages and pictures and book-stuff?  Yes, I know.  It is pretty cool to know others, maybe even a gazillion others, have already done this.  Fuck, I hope I am not the last guy on the planet who has not done this.  That would be awkward.

So, yes, I know others have done this which is cool, and also annoying because it would really have been something pretty stellar to have been the first one who thought of this.  But I went into this, before I even looked, assuming others had done a year of RAK Challenge, and my assumption was not that this was something that someone thought of recently. Rather I assumed there have been people doing this for thousands of years.  If that is true, that would be seriously cool and not the least bit annoying.  I am not going to say anything about stepping onto a path which has been walked before by women and men searching for something fundamentally human.  Nope, I’m not going to even imply that.

-Have you read the other blogs or books?  No.  I know it is not like I will be exploring this challenge in a vacuum but I believe this will be more valuable if I don’t read what the others have written.  Knowing me, if I did, I would under the surface constantly be comparing my experience to theirs (Huh, I am not coming to any of those realizations, I wonder what I am doing wrong?), judging what I define as a RAK to what they did (Holy cow!  They are so much more kind them I am…), etc.

–Why are you doing a year of random acts of kindness? I don’t know.  That’s a crappy answer.  Some of it has to do with the death of the young woman I know, as well as other people (and, to be honest, pets I was deeply attached to) in my life who have passed, but there is more.  Some of that more relates to something I cannot yet find the words for.  Some of the more relates to things that I am not ready to share with you.  Oooohhh, that is kind of a mysterious answer.  I like that.

–Are you trying erase bad karma or wash away your sins?  Wow!  Wouldn’t it be great if you could do those things just by being nice to random people for a year? So, that would be a no.

Not that you asked but I am one of those Spiritual But Not Religious kind of people.  I feel like there may be something that is grand and omnipresent (I just call it the Universe. Clever, right?), but I don’t know.  I hope so.  If there is a Universe I suspect it loves people for what they are, all people, which of course is super annoying because shouldn’t there consequences for being a shitty person?  Prizes for being a good person?  If there are, in the simple cosmology of me, those consequences don’t come from the Universe.  I do think being a hurtful and shitty person eats away at your humanness (poorly defined definition of soul) and that is a huge consequence.

-Are you trying to change your wicked ways and be a nicer human being?  No.  Pretty much anyone you talk to who encounters me on a regular basis (except for maybe one of my exes but that is a whole different topic) would tell you that I am a nice person, a really nice person. But like I mentioned in the Rules Blog, a lot of that niceness is automatic, like when someone asks, “How are you” and you say “Fine” without even thinking, and mostly certainly “fine” has absolutely no bearing on how you might be feeling.   I do a lot of nice things every day without really thinking about it, which means that I am not present for that interaction and I am not seeing the person who I am interacting with as a real person.  There is no real connection.  So, no, not nicer, rather more being there.

–If you ever meet me will you be nice to me?  The odds are quite good.  Unless I have just finished a long run and have no brain sugar left.  I would not be mean under those conditions but am likely to stare blankly at you.

–Will you give me money?  No.

–Should I give you money?  I was going to say something witty and funny (I think I am hilarious by the way), but instead am going to opt for sincere.  No, you should not give me money.

–If I write a comment will you read it and will you write me back?  Def will read it, but a no to the write you back.  Among the many reasons, I am trying to strike a balance between sharing what is going on as I dive into this experiment vs. not losing sight that a huge chunk of my RAKing for a year, ironically, is about me (Me, me, me, me, me!) and what I am seeking, that…that…thing that I haven’t been able to put words to, or am too afraid to put words to.

-Are you going to edit or delete my posts?  What if I tell you that I think you are a fucking dumbass and don’t know shit and everything you are writing is bullshit?  I will not edit your posts.  That seems silly.  I will delete posts that are violent or prejudice against any group or are spam.  I won’t delete your post because you think I am a fucking dumbass and don’t know shit and everything I write is BS.  First of all, you are probably correct, but more importantly deleting your post because you don’t like what I am doing or saying is a great way for me to not be open to whatever this year might bring.

-I am starting to detect some Zen, acceptance, mindfulness themes here. Are you some sort of enlightened, Zen Buddhist, hippie, wise teacher person?  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! I just wet my pants from laughing so hard.   No, but I think there is some valuable psychological work that at its core involves being mindful, present in the moment, and accepting of experience.  So, expect some of this stuff to be a fairly common theme.

-Will your blog make me happy? I don’t know but that would be awesome.

 -Will your blog make me cry? I don’t know but that would be awesome.

-Will your blog make me angry? I don’t know but that would be awesome.

-Will your blog make me….? No, seriously, I don’t have a fucking clue. Although I hope that things emerge as I do this and write about that are meaningful to me and others, including you, I truly don’t know.

-Speaking of the word fucking, there has been a fair amount of profanity already and you haven’t even really started yet.  Is that going to continue?  Fuck yeah it is going to continue.  If you want you can look down on me for an inability to express myself in a more sophisticated manner. But 1) Profanity carries a certain power to it, and I think we are going to some strange places where having  some power in our words will come in handy and 2) I have a “very serious,” “very responsible,” “very grown up” job where I hardly ever get to say things like “this sucks ass” or “fuck this shit” or “that is one badass mother fucker” so it is fun for me (Note above where I clarify this is about me).

-If you aren’t going to stop cussing, could you at least stop putting so many phrases into parentheses?  Duly noted and a fair comment.  I will try.  The challenge is that I don’t tend to think in a straight line which means that important things come up that don’t fit into the current sentence, thus the parentheses.  However, given that I fully intend to keep cussing, it seems fair that I try to reduce the insertion of stray comments (even if those comments may be important or at least interesting).

–Did people really ask all these questions?  No.

-Are you going to stop fucking around with these made up FAQs and focus on blogging about your experiences with this Random Acts of Kindness Challenge?   Yes.