I know a woman who I think would have been amused by the post which follows.

Yesterday, I walked past a man in a public parking deck on my way to dinner.  He was standing at the pay-for-your-parking machine thingy, trying to feed it money and looking baffled as it kept spitting his legal tender back at him.  I could see his frustration growing.  I turned around and went back and told him you didn’t have to pay for parking after 7:00 which is why the machine wasn’t hungry. He was relieved and appreciative.  Sometimes the best random acts of kindness are little acts.

A quote from Tracy Letts (Among a variety of achievements, author of the Tony Award winning play August Osage County):  ” I think there comes a point in your life where you own your damage.  You don’t necessarily get over it, you don’t necessarily have it all figured out, you just say this is mine, these are the things I have to be aware of, take care of, work around.”

I gave Haley a preview of this new post.  She responded with “huh” and “Interesting.”  I am not completely sure what she meant, but I pass this along to you as a warning of sorts.  Maybe set your expectations low?

A rabbit story for spring because….well, because rabbits are cute…not as cute as puppies or kittens or penguin chicks (OMG! Penguin chick photos are some of the cutest!) or hedgehogs (who make me laugh) or even human chicks (who can also be pretty special), but rabbits are cute. And even though rabbits are…. “not the brightest bunny in the forest,” they seem to have a certain wisdom about them when you stop to watch.

You: Is this an Easter Bunny story?  Me: No   You: Oh……ummm….. Because we could probably work with that if it was.  Me: Not an Easter Bunny story.   You: Too bad.

There is a wild rabbit who lives in my backyard (the rabbit is not in any of the pictures because rabbits are good at hiding). Rabbit joined us about 10 months ago as a tiny baby bunny. He….she….I am not good at detecting rabbit genitalia so I don’t know….I assume rabbits are quite good at telling the difference….One would think… Let’s just say it is a boy for no particular reason. Anyway, there is a rabbit who lives in my backyard. I saw him just this morning, merrily eating the spring growth of fresh grass, beating back the chill of the morning by basking in the sun on my patio. My backyard is well enclosed with a solid wooden fence. Like Peter Rabbit, he must have squeezed under the gap in the gate about 10 months ago when he was a cute tiny baby bunny. He is now full grown and I do not think he can easily get out.

Etta (the annoying little sister) used to think he was fun to chase, although she never came close to catching him which was beside the point of Etta’s game. Chasing- way fun. Catching- why would you do that? Elly (favorite dog) used to think the main function of adding Rabbit to the backyard was as a provider of yummy rabbit poop treats so fully supported his presence in peace. Mr Kitty. Ah, Mr Kitty. He believes he is a fierce tiger in the grass and has hunted Rabbit almost every day since his arrival. Mr Kitty appears to be of the mind that Rabbit is either prey to be captured and then……something (I don’t think he is sure what happens next), or a rival who needs his ass kicked and to be vanquished. Mr Kitty can be a real asshole. Definitely not a live-and-let-live kind of guy. He has never achieved either of these objectives, and with the tiny baby bunny now a full grown rabbit I am skeptical he can. Still he continues his quest.

All in all, it would seem that Rabbit has a pretty good deal. Shelter, large food supply, safe from predators (Sorry, Mr K, but until you start bringing home confirmed kills….). All the trappings of a successful rabbit. This dude has it made, just look at his luxurious rabbit lifestyle. Look at all this grass. Look at that shed to hide under. Not a fox or coyote to be seen. I am sure his rabbit parents would be proud. Of course he has no rabbit relationships, let alone a close rabbit relationship, and the animals around him are hard to relate to and in turn don’t seem to understand him. But check out that grass, which is all his. Did he mention the shed? Practically a rabbit mansion/fortress (in case of the Bunny Zombie Apocalypse.).

I imagine a series of random events, rather than life choices (because who among us really makes life choices as a baby bunny?), lead to his current circumstances. Maybe his parents and siblings were eaten by a crazed wolverine and he barely escaped. Maybe there was a forest fire, he dove into the creek and emerged on the other side. Maybe one day he turned left instead of right.

No matter what happened in his childhood, Rabbit has accidentally found himself in safety, practically a rabbit paradise. Although it does not appear he gets to experience much of rabbit life. But then rabbit life is filled with danger and risk and anxiety. There are creatures actively trying to eat you to meet their own well-justified needs. There are cars which can squish you without even noticing your demise. Of course, rabbits are social creatures, and I don’t know if this rabbit is lonely & has an empty place inside his ferociously beating rabbit heart (Resting rate ~ 150 beats per minute), or is he completely content with his circumstances? If he could rise above his grass-level view and really see there was another way for a rabbit to live, what would he choose?

Watching him calmly nibble at the grass, he seems happy. But I wonder what it is like to be the last rabbit on his planet. Should I help him find his way out of my yard?

I’m not really sure why a story about this random rabbit seems like the story to tell.  It seemed important when I started.  Maybe I will leave it to you to figure out, or not.

I guess it is silly, but Rabbit started me thinking about the people I hold dear.  I find myself circling back to a question I said was important to me several months ago.  People that I care for, care about, and love, tell me what are you most afraid of?

And how can I love you better?